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This is a letter from my niece who adopted two kids from the Ukraine. Considering the awful conditions at these Orphanages, and considering my own personal feelings that population growth is out of control, it brought home to me the perverse irony of these kids perishing in these institutions with little more future prospect than a future in prostitution or drugs, while here in the states people are merrily going about their business creating additional people instead of taking care of some of them. I'm hoping that maybe instead of having kids of their own, someone will read this and decide to adopt instead.
Hi Uncle Ned, December 31, 2002 Enclosed are a couple of things. One is a copy of the brochure for the United Ukrainian American Relief Committee, Inc. My sister-in-law, Lydia Melnyk, has been working with them for many years on a part-time basis. They regularly assist orphanages in Ukraine, however, they many not be able to directly assist a specific orphanage. Keep in mind that there are hundreds of orphanages in Ukraine. Some regions (states) have more than others. Some have better living conditions than others. For example, Kiev (capital city) has “better” conditions, but as you travel farther into rural areas, it’s hard to believe how they live. Lydia can answer any questions you have, or her colleague, Vira Prynko in Ukraine, can help too. Lydia can get Vira’s e-mail address if you like. Vira does speak English. Also enclosed are the addresses for the orphanages in which both Zhenya and Olek had been placed. Orphanages are categorized by age and Zhenya and Olek were not in the same institution. The two did not even know each other prior to our adopting them on Oct.11, 2002, because Zhenya was taken away before Olek was born and then he was subsequently taken away as well. The “baby orphanages” house children age birth to about four. Other orphanages house kids from about four to six. Many orphanages then filter kids on their 7th birthdays to a “school orphanage” where they begin a crude education (sewing, basic reading, not sure about math or science, not much else for orphans anyway). The likelihood of them being adopted after this age is rare. At age 16 or 17 they are then given a couple dollars (gryvnas) and sent out on the streets. A very high percentage, (something like 75%) end up in prostitution and suicide. As you can see the educational system (or lack of) doesn’t prepare many people (orphans) in Ukraine for adult life. A great source of info on adoption in Ukraine: www.UkrainianAngels.org Walter and I highly recommend it. Sometimes it’s very busy, so log in when you can. This is the non-profit org we went through. The woman who began it in 1998, Cathy Harris of Christmas, Florida, is terrific. She adopted a bunch (!) of children from Ukraine. For those who aren’t aware, Ukraine became an independent country in 1990. It’s a struggling economy. Alcoholism is rampant. A large bottle of beer costs the equivalent of 25 cents! Booze is cheaper than food. The people are very poor. We saw a group of gypsy people getting off a bus one day while we were in Kiev. They dress in bright colored raggedy clothes. They are easy to spot. Drugs are too expensive for the locals (to give you an idea of the economy). A majority of citizens do not own personal vehicles of any sort. Compared to American standards, food and goods are dirt cheap, however, not cheap for the locals. The two of us ate for about $10/day. The (probably) average family does not have a toilet in the house. Many places just have a stall with a hole in the ground to squat over. Some roadside “restroom facilities” have a large hole that everyone can squat over together (no stalls). And forget about washing machines or laundromats, only the “elite” have use of such modern conveniences. People there wear the same clothes day after day. Hot water is hard to come by. Never mind hot water, it’s sometimes hard to even find running water! They have water shortages often and therefore the water is shut off randomly. A note about flies: Everywhere we went flies swarmed about yet no one took notice. We were in offices, and the orphanages, and other buildings where flies freely swarmed about. We were there for the month of October! Yet the flies were everywhere probably partly due to the absence of window screens, not to mention the bathroom facilities. So I paint this picture of Ukraine, and the orphans are on the lower rung of an already low totem pole. Please note that while Ukraine is a very poor country, it is a country rich in spirit. The people we encountered took pride in what little they had. People were kind and generous wherever we went. No one gave us a hard time anywhere. Read: a couple of Americans consorting with the natives. We walked the streets, ate in the (few) local eateries. I’m sure they liked our money, but people were nice nonetheless. We attended an Orthodox church one Sunday morning while in Ukraine and it was amazing to see the energy and belief of people who have basically nothing. Our observations and some facts about orphanages in
Ukraine: In the baby orphanage - Donetsk: The toddlers mostly sat on benches in the daytime. We didn’t see them play with toys. Most were lethargic and quiet for what should be a rambunctious age. Conditions vary from orphanage to orphanage although none are palaces. The orphanage workers asked us for disposable diapers, something not easily found as in the U.S. They are fed mostly soup broth and pieces of white bread. Balanced meals? Vitamins? Forget it. Don’t ask how often they are bathed. Our son stunk like urine even 10 days after he became ours, especially his hair. (we were bathing him almost daily) Perhaps no shampoo? Oral hygiene? Non-existent. We took up a collection of toothbrushes, toothpaste, and OTC children’s cold medicine before we left for Ukraine. We brought over one giant suitcase filled with these items and gave it to the baby orphanage. We estimated the value at over $700 and we realized afterwards that they badly needed it. No modern conveniences. None. The laundry hung out on the line to dry in October. One issue that we’ve heard is that orphanage workers steal from the orphans. (Don’t know which orphanages specifically.) We saw how this could be true. The workers are often poor themselves. Don’t know how to get around this issue other than to provide some small gifts to the workers so they will be distracted from what the kids receive. The clothing the little ones wore was absolutely disgusting. Worn, beaten, stained, foul, ill-smelling. We were to bring Olek to the “play” area upstairs for one of our visits in the 100-year old orphanage building and the one caregiver handed me a coat to put on him. (Yes, a drafty old building!) The coat I was handed was badly stained, threadbare and stunk so bad as I got a whiff of it. It should have been burned but we later learned that was the coat he often wore for outdoor playtime. On that note, the outdoor “playground” consists of a rough blacktop fenced-in area. That’s it. No jungle gyms or anything. The toddlers fought over 1 plastic ball. Olek found a big leaf on the ground when we met him playing outside on another of our visits. It seemed to be the highlight of his day being that toys were scarce. Just a side note, when adopting in Ukraine, it’s a very unpredictable experience. We did not know what kids we would adopt or what region we would be traveling to. There were no guarantees about anything. We first had to travel to Kiev to the National Adoption Center where we received a “referral”. It was there that we learned of Zhenya and Olek. In the school orphanage - Donetsk: The kids (age 7 to 16) wore the same clothes several days in a row. Kids shoes are actually hard to find in Ukraine. Many of the orphans wore shoes many sizes too big for their feet. This orphanage badly needs shoes. They do not have access to lice medication for outbreaks. Their remedy is to shave the kids’ heads (yes, girls). This past summer there was an outbreak and some 40 girls with waist length hair had their heads shaved. Demoralizing. They could use it. The sleeping quarters consist of large hall-like rooms lined with cots. As we toured the orphanage (the Director was excited to show us around because no one had ever adopted there before) I had the opportunity to sit on a cot and almost fell through to the floor. (No, I don’t weigh much.) We were invited to have lunch with Zhenya the week we were doing paperwork. We sat down to a meal of brown slop. A warm brown drink (prunes??), brown mush, brown hard-boiled eggs, a piece of bread, and some revolting “soup”. Please note: I pretended to nibble on the bread and twirl the spoon around in the bowl, but I felt ill just thinking about the possibility of eating that stuff. The sad part was that here I was so ungrateful for this food while all these kids ate this stuff 365 days a year. Vegetables? Beans? Not here. Peanut butter? Pasta? No such thing. The educational part of their day was sewing for girls and sports for boys. They did learn music, basic reading and math, perhaps some history. Not much to support oneself never mind build a career on. The one good thing about this particular orphanage is that they do their best to see the 17-year olds move on to a type of “technical” trade school in order to work in some sort of factory. They also hire back past orphans as needed. It becomes a kind of permanent family. Uncle Ned, hopes this help. Let me know if you need more specifics. Bobby It would seem to me that the best way to help these folks would be to have a way to buy locally made goods for the kids. To just bring things from the US there would have a negative impact on local industries since that would compete with rather than support local production. But how to actually get the $'s where it needs to go? I suspect that there are a lot of poor desperate people there. Supporting local industry (and providing local jobs) would best be achieved by actually sending someone to live there to physically buy things and make sure they get to the kids, plus at least as much for their caretakers. It would help their economy a bunch if they had money injected into the local economy - a dairy farm comes to mind - as well as other agriculture. I am ashamed to say all I am doing is sitting on my rear here in the US (I'm a wheelchair guy- that's my excuse). But that is exactly why I am making this webpage at 1:10 AM Friday night. If anyone has any idea how to get some of these kids adopted, that would be great. I would specifically like advice on the motivations of folks who want to have kids, and how I might convince them tot adopt instead. I intend to post more details on these orphanages here shortly. The bottom line, however, is that it is still all futile without birth control. -Ned
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